I had to peer down at the little girl that I used to be and apologize to her for the dreams that I crushed, when I grew up. For allowing myself to believe all people are good. For the late realization that life is not perfect and that things will happen that will break you down and wish for the days that you only wanted to play Barbies and dream of driving a car.
As children, our parents prepare us for the world, but they can only do so much of that, because they have no idea of everything we will face as adults. There’s no way of knowing that. They can equip us with skills of survival, but there’s no way for them to truly soothe the pains that we grow to endure.
I miss the innocence of being toothless, in 2nd grade. Losing a front tooth again, after flipping over my handlebars, and getting right back up to pedal on. Today, when I fall down (not in the literal sense), I wonder how I will recover and IF I can recover. Life has kind of made me lose my spark that helped me to hop right back up, banged up and all, but smiling and ready to go! For that, I had to apologize to my 2nd grade self.
I would say my ups and downs are about 70/30 -70 being the good things. I have definitely smiled more than cried, but when I’ve cried, it was at my worst. I’ve allowed both people and situations to break me down to my lowest point. That young girl inside of me still hopes for every day to be full of happiness and innocence. For people to be good to me, and for life to not deal me these bad hands, when things seem to start looking up.
That’s asking for a lot. We never know what life truly has in store for us, but we do know that for every time we fall down eventually we will get back up. We just have to look inside and find the little girl/boy we once were, use them as our strength and guide to overcoming.