**Re-blog of an older story that got deleted when my site crashed**
I have found myself in this situation before. Being in love with someone, but he continues to loiter around my heart, like it’s a shopping mall. “Hello, sir. Could you please pick out your woman? The shop is closing soon.”. What does one do, when you both can honestly say: “I love you”,
but only one of you is ready to go all in, while the other just procrastinates? As long as both parties are available (no other people in the way) -which would be a big NO-NO!
Going after somebody else’s somebody (even if they’re still just dating/courting) is totally uncool and trifling. If there are no roadblocks, there should be no reason to prolong the inevitable -unless it’s just truly not meant to be.
Being an outsider looking in, I usually assume:
1. He/She is exclusively involved with someone else
2. He/She is entertaining multiple people at one time
3. He/She is hiding some kind of crazy skeleton in the closet
No matter what the scenario is, No one deserves to have their heart placed on “hold”, until the other person decides they’re ready to invest. We miss out on so many wonderful people and opportunities, by waiting on someone else to make a move. Especially when we allow months and years to go by, without a commitment.
I believe in soulmates, but I have also been told that one can have more than one soul mate. I am not sure of how true that is, but I do know that it’s possible to love again after heartbreak. It’s so painful to let go of something that you have planned in your mind and gotten excited over. There is no pain like being a prisoner within your own heart, though. People unintentionally play games with each other and the longer the game goes on, the harder it is to overcome the grief of the situation dying.
If you feel like your heart has had enough of the games, it’s time to step away and heal. Allow yourself to cry it out, but don’t drown in your tears or pain for too long! Don’t let it keep you from going out and meeting new people. There is always someone willing and ready to take the next step with you -once you’re willing to let go of that person that is holding your heart hostage.
I don’t want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you
There are many people that truthfully are not “in love” with the person that they’re chasing, however the thought of seeing that person with someone else bothers them so much, that they can’t let it go.
Be honest with yourself. Are you truly wanting to move forward in life with this person (marriage), or are you hoarding hearts, to keep the next girl/guy from reaping the benefits of the time that you’ve invested?
I think for a lot of us women, we feel that once we get our man to really be relationship ready and willing to take the next steps, it’s hard to let him go to the next woman – after our hard work. It’s not that we “train” them to be another man, but we kind of clean up the rough edges, all for someone else to just jump in and buy the shiny/polished version of him.
I was told by an ex:
People come into our lives for a reason. It’s all a lesson. Even when couples breakup, there was some kind of lesson that will help them within their next relationship.
This is exactly what I am speaking of. The lessons learned during those failed relationships, have helped us to be better for the next person. It does still seem unfair to let someone else step in and take over, where you left off. It’s got to be done, though! Let it go!
At the end of the day, we must decide what we really want for ourselves, when it comes to love and happiness. Really sit there and think about how you truly feel about the man or woman that you’re holding tight to.
* Can you see yourself taking the next steps with them?
* Do you see a lot of roadblocks?
* Are you willing to go through hell or high water for that person?
* Do you REALLY love them?
For me, I am a hopeless romantic. I love, love! I am inspired by different couples around me. I don’t enjoy the single life – at all. With that said, we still need to take care of our hearts. Don’t allow anyone to put your heart on hold. You’re not a toy, that can be picked up and put back down, once someone decides they’re bored. Choose love and not lust. Choose you, before you choose him/her.
Whatever you’re dealing with, I wish you all of the best and I do feel that there is someone out there for everyone – just keep your hands and eyes out of the next persons’ shopping cart! Married men/women or people that you know are talking to other people are OFF LIMITS!!! Your happiness is not someone else’s mate.
Positive Vibes, Love + Happiness
*The views expressed on this blog are my own and not meant to be taken as expert advice. Please use your own judgement, when making relationship decisions.